Opinion:    “Gay marriage by definition deprives children of either a mother or a father. Social science concludes that children need both a mother and a father for the healthiest outcomes.

"

Fact:   Gay marriage does not, by definition, necessarily deprive children of anything. The legal right to marry, even for opposite-sex couples, exists independent of any eventual procreation. What is probably meant here is “gay parenting” rather than “gay marriage”.

But, refutations of this ‘gay parenting’ claim are happening in loving families all across North Carolina, and if one ignores them one ignores the facts about the 21st century family: many children are being raised lovingly by their biological parents who are now in same-sex relationships with different people. In other words, Harry and Sally are now divorced, but co-parent their son Billy along with Harry’s partner Larry. The fact that Sally lives in a different house should raise no more concern than if Harry were not partnered with anyone - as is the case in many heterosexual joint-custody situations. From a social science perspective, and all other variables being equal, Billy has 3 loving parents, and is deprived of nothing. In states allowing same-sex adoptions, two loving parents engage in long, emotional processes of bringing children into their lives, and the adopted children are deprived of nothing.

Real social science actually says that the healthiest outcomes for children come from homes in which they are lovingly cared for by two parents of any sex, which is why every one of the approximately 10 leading child-advocacy organizations has enthusiastically endorsed gay-parent and gay-couple adoptions.

Fears for the welfare of children have been used for decades by opponents of even the most rudimentary rights for people of same-sex orientation. Anita Bryant, campaigning successfully in 1977 to legalize anti-gay discrimination, named her organization "Save Our Children". Bryant said, “I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children" and "If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards." Florida has since joined other states in banning this kind of discrimination, and, of course, its children are fine. Perhaps Bryant has been affected, as have so many, by the emotional video of young Zach Wahls of Iowa, speaking eloquently about his two proud mothers. Or perhaps she hasn’t.

But we all share a concern for the welfare of children. It would be commendable if opponents of same-sex marriage and child-rearing were collecting evidence of poor outcomes from children of gay parents. Governments could act on that evidence to protect children. How many have come forward to complain about being raised by gay people? How many are in therapy to overcome the damage? Presumably, opponents of same-sex marriage and parenting are forming support organizations to help these children, out of concern for their welfare.